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Simply Spendid Life

Living Life While I Am Here To Live It

The Whats

My plan for this blog is to share various experiences in my life. Such as, the first I want to blog my experiences as I work through each of the saved videos I have “saved” on Facebook for later reference. I see these videos and I want to try whatever it is in that video, but I never seem to go back to them. So I will blog about them; work my way through each one. The blog I want to do after that one, is a similar one but with my Pinterest boards.

A blog I want to pursue it one for women. Men are allowed to read it as well, but it will be for women to laugh, sigh, embrace, cry, whatever emotional state that each of the blogs bring out… what this blog will be about, beyond what I have  already said, is a surprise for another time. 🙂

A blog that I am going to put an entry in every so often (sometimes more often, sometimes not so much) is one that I will start after pressing save on this entry.

I have numerous ideas for blogs. Tons of life experiences that I can share in hopes to learn more from or for others to learn from. A way for all of us to connect on one level or another. Some will be short. Some will be long. I never know “who” I will be (my mindset) at the time I am writing. I feel if I do not write in whatever frame-of-mind I am in at that time, I will loose very REAL blog emotions and points that can reach to others on a level that I would not be able to do so in some other frame-of-mind.

With that being said… cheers to my future readers. Thank you for starting this journey, new path in life, goal-fulfilling awesomeness with me!

Sincerely,

Donut

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Just something to start with…

I can say nothing more then: I am me and I am constantly learning, changing, reaching for my dreams, jumping hurdles, racing forward, attempting to take it slow, trying not to miss the small stuff and always looking for the blessings. I am inspired by so many things on a daily basis. I am a mother of three, a wife, a daughter, a wanna-be author/blogger/artist/poet/photographer… labels are labels. I am me!

Featured post

The big picture

I’m going to be turning 40 in less than two months.  I know the typical reaction to the big 4-0 is to be depressed, cry, have a mid-life crisis or, at the very least, dread the number.  But, in all honesty, I’m not feeling the number.  It is what it is, just a number.  As I sit here, I feel contentment instead of dread. Content with my life and my upcoming 4-0.  I love God, my husband, my children, my family, my friends, the jobs that I am currently doing… I still have goals that I want to reach.  Life long dreams that I want to fulfill.  Changes that I continue to make with myself.  Relationships that need mending.  But, the big picture, I am truly blessed.  I know this, I accept what I have and I am jealous of nothing.  It is a warm feeling to be content.  Especially for an individual like me, who struggles with anxiety and depression.  That warm, calm feeling is sometimes so overtaken by the panicky flutter in my chest that I loose that soothingness of being content.  But, it is still there and I stop and smile, look around myself and just take it all in.  I am content.  I am happy.  I am strong.  Problems will come and go.  I will make conscious choices on how I manage whatever comes my way.  I cannot always choose what life throws at me, but I can choose how I react and deal with it.  (That’s a subject for another day.)  For right now, I am content and, in the near future, I will be a content 40 year old. 


(Photo from google search: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/keep-calm-the-big-40-is-almost-here/)

~Donut

Baby bump

If someone asked if I need advice on how to lose the postpartum baby bump, is it not acceptable to say that I am keeping it for memories???

I do not understand why I get looked at like I am from another dimension… lol


~Donut

Do you ever?

One day recently, I noticed the same statement running through my head “pooh on a shoe.” It was a rough, emotional day and I assume that is why that nasty little rhymn kept repeating in my head ALL DAY LONG.

I was getting sick of singing “pooh on a shoe” to myself, so I thought maybe if I wrote it down it would go away. So I jotted the statement down and without much thought, other words followed. 

I saw where this little rhyming ditty was headed and I was not in a good place to be in such a dark place… so I never finished it. 

Do You Ever

Do you ever feel like pooh, like the stuff stuck to to bottom of a shoe?

Do you ever want to crawl in a hole, turn from the light and just let go?

Do you ever cry tears so hot, but you know your cold inside and full of rot?

Do you ever look around, seeing faces but hearing no sound?

Do you ever play the happy game, while inside you know you are lame?

Do you ever reach out for help,  but instead feel the sting of the belt?

That’s where I stopped and walked away. Better left in rough form, unfinished. Not the path I need to be ruminating over.

~Donut

Stairs

I have been sorting through old recipe books, copying down the recipes that my family and I could afford and would actually make and eat. In one of the recipe books I came across this little tidbit:


I decided to give one a shot… stair climbing sounded like a nice place to start. Challenging, yet easy enough.

Yes… easy instructionally, but 15 minutes feels much longer when you are waiting to hear your timer ring and end your torment.  By the time my timer announced the end of 15 minutes, I was sweating! I was still moving, but had slowed down. Talk about a short, but effective cardio workout. Wow!

~Donut

“Found Poem”

So, I learned about “Found Poems” from my eldest child.  This must have been something I did not learn, slept through or just do not remember from my college literature classes.  I found it quite intriguing when learning about it now!

I recently finished reading a beautifully written, compelling story, Salt of the Sea, by Ruta Sepetys. This is the third book I have read by her and I could not recommend her more highly!  She writes stories based around historic events, giving these events great personal depth through fictional characters.  In preface to her stories, she does immense research in order to recreate events as accurately as possible.  Recommendation rant over, back to Found Poems.

The definition of a Found Poem is: “a type of poetry created by taking words, phrases, and sometimes whole passages from other sources and reframing them as poetry (a literary equivalent of a collage) by making changes in spacing and lines, or by adding or deleting text, thus imparting new meaning.” (Google; Wikipedia).  Obviously, you would want to reference your poems source, too.

I gave the Found Poem a try.  This is what I created.  Please remember, it is my first attempt at this…

————————-

Salt of the Sea By Ruta Sepetys; page 374 – Found Poem

Standing on the porch,

hands trembling,

Cold…

The fear never disappears,

A tide of memeory,

slipping back to sea…

Terrors haunt at night,

but love is always there,

chasing it away.

To run, to hide, are of no use.

Fate, a hunter, found its way to me,

across the ocean,

in an envelope.

A reply…

Answers…

I took a breath

and

tore it open…

————————

~Donut

Perspective

I have seen the video on Facebook with the two boys learning a different lesson from the same example being set by their father. 

It really does come down to perspective. You can live with a situation all around you and yet not become part if it. You can learn from others and their doings. You  can choose to be something different from what is surrounding you. You are  or destined to do exactly as those around you.

Take a stand for you and your future. You do not need to shout this decision from the highest hilltop. Lord knows there will be plenty of people who will laugh, belittle or try to make you doubt yourself, if you voice your strength and decision to be different from them. But, you can just mentally encourage yourself until the opportunity to be away from the situation. 

Just remember, it all starts with choosing your perspective. 


(Photo courtesy of: google search http://quotesgram.com/quotes-about-choosing-your-own-path/)

~Donut

Boots

One of my favorite drawings from my college art class! I remember the professor coming in the room, plopping these boots on the table in front of the class and telling us to draw them. I had never thought to draw boots, but it was a great experience.


~Donut

Better safe than sorry… 😣

So this past week I have been experiencing chest pains. The pain comes and goes. It is a sharp pain that, most often, radiates from the lower left rib and spreads up and across, sometimes even causing back pain.  With it being so inconsistent, I had not seriously thought of it being heart-related.

But this morning I woke up at 5am with nasty chest pain. I got up, went to the bathroom and felt a little better. I laid back in bed, waiting for the alarm to go off and deeply breathing through each episode of stabbing pain and compression-like feeling.  

I was scheduled to substitute teach today and did not want to have to cancel on the school. Yet, as I was getting ready to go, the pain was getting worse and coming more often. Of course, my anxiety about my “inevitable heart attack” (if you have anxiety, you understand the ‘inevitable’ part of that statement) was not helping, but I have felt the burning sensation of panic attacks many times before and was doing my best to stay above the panic.

I finally couldn’t take it anymore and woke my husband up. It was 7:15ish and I was freaking out! I kept pushing to get ready to go sub and he kept insisting I go get myself checked “to be on the safe side.”

I finally gave in. I called the school at 7:45 and left a message, apologizing profusely for leaving them in the  while I went to the ER to have this ungodly pain checked.

After all the prediagnostic questions, the typical demographic questions, the what’s-going-on-questions, an X-ray, bloodwork, an EKG and heart monitoring, I was sent home with the prognosis that my heart was okay in the “emergency sense” and that the most likely possibility is Costochondritis. I was prescribed Naprosyn for the next week and told to follow-up with my PCP if things were not improving.

Of course, while being on the heart monitor, the pain did not occur. As soon as I got in the car and started home, it was there again. When thinking of the diagnosis, it occurred to me that one difference seemed to be that I was wearing my bra again.  I did not have it on during monitoring and as soon as I tossed it across my bedroom at home, the pain eased again. Although, it does continue to persist.

So… I’m hoping and praying that the diagnosis was spot on. I am taking this anti-inflammatory and breathing through the sharp pains. Occasionally, I start to get anxious, again. I try to ignore my crazy thoughts, keep breathing and focus on staying calm. 

The information I read on Costochondritis says it is often just a spontaneous occurrence, short-term and can go as quickly as it came. Sometimes it can be brought on by lifting, working out or repeative movements not typically done (I haven’t been working out like I should and I have been moving furniture and refinishing my floors…) Also stated was that it can take 6-8 weeks, (sometimes a year!), to completely heal. Lord, be with me that I can keep calm that long or know when it might be something more…

~Donut

(Photo source: google search – http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/235710.php?page=2)

Comic Book Drawing

I came across another old book of mine. This one holds several sketches from my high school days. Makes me itch to draw more. 

Here is one of Evil Ernie done in pen (from the Evil Ernie comic book series).

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