Written at a time when I was fighting myself as to what I knew in my heart I should do and what I knew was comfortable; not risky. I knew I had to make a choice because I could feel myself dying inside. But it is always hard to give up the way you had been living for nearly 20 years and step onto a new path. Courage does not always come easy when you have so many responsibilities in your life. With these thoughts rolling around in my head, as I was driving the same road I was always going, heading one way or the other one, this poem was born: (as is typical of my writings, this in rough form)
“The thought hit me on the endless blacktop… it was all a dream. A silly childish dream. My heart broke; tears streamed for that little dream. What was my life now? Without my dream to reach for?
Driving to and from, a tiresome repetitive existance. I knew I had one of two choices. I was nearing the bridge. How many times have I thought about yanking the wheel, crashing through the barrier, plummeting down – choice one.
Oh, but that would be the absolute end of my dream… I did not want to give up on the dream; on myself!
Or choice two – stop the monotony! Make a change! Resurrect that fire! Fulfill it! Cross the line into the unknown. Take the chance and breathe life back into my soul!
It all comes down to this bridge. I see it… closer and closer. I have to make this decision now; today. It cannot wait any longer. I cannot wait any longer! Cross to new beginnings? Plummet to the end?
3, 2, 1… onto the bridge now. I see the other side of the bridge, I see the tiny treetops below… I only have to cross.”