I’m going to be turning 40 in less than two months.  I know the typical reaction to the big 4-0 is to be depressed, cry, have a mid-life crisis or, at the very least, dread the number.  But, in all honesty, I’m not feeling the number.  It is what it is, just a number.  As I sit here, I feel contentment instead of dread. Content with my life and my upcoming 4-0.  I love God, my husband, my children, my family, my friends, the jobs that I am currently doing… I still have goals that I want to reach.  Life long dreams that I want to fulfill.  Changes that I continue to make with myself.  Relationships that need mending.  But, the big picture, I am truly blessed.  I know this, I accept what I have and I am jealous of nothing.  It is a warm feeling to be content.  Especially for an individual like me, who struggles with anxiety and depression.  That warm, calm feeling is sometimes so overtaken by the panicky flutter in my chest that I loose that soothingness of being content.  But, it is still there and I stop and smile, look around myself and just take it all in.  I am content.  I am happy.  I am strong.  Problems will come and go.  I will make conscious choices on how I manage whatever comes my way.  I cannot always choose what life throws at me, but I can choose how I react and deal with it.  (That’s a subject for another day.)  For right now, I am content and, in the near future, I will be a content 40 year old. 


(Photo from google search: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/p/keep-calm-the-big-40-is-almost-here/)

~Donut

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